Woah, I'm already at post 48. Crazy how fast time flies! To be honest, there's a gray area between around post 17 and post 45. I have no idea what happened, and I have little recollection of what I wrote about. But since post 45, time has been moving really slowly! Maybe it's because I'm expecting #50 too much?

I told myself that I would run this experiment till #50 and then give myself the chance to re-evaluate, so maybe my mind is yearning a bit for that potential change in pace. I'll probably stop forcing myself to publish daily and instead aim for something more balanced, like three posts a week. I'll probably still write most every day, but that doesn't mean I need to publish what I write! I can use some of the "down days" to answer emails (lots of pending answers, sorry) or work on something longer (I still have the story from #0039 nibbling at the back of my mind).

At the same time, I'm surprised that I've managed to write so much, so consistently, and with so little hardship! My "me" of some time ago would've never thought myself capable, and yet here I am! Though, as mentioned, I'm starting to feel the chafing of this schedule.

I can't even begin to imagine how Visa managed to write almost 900 pseudo-daily "vomits" (and still counting). It's really mind-boggling when you think about it. It's not only the dedication but also the "logistics" of it that are truly amazing. I've been able to get away with doing my little experiment without really telling my wife what I'm doing, but I don't think I could keep this up forever without fully involving her.

I did mention to her in passing that I was trying to "write daily", but I think that doesn't really convey the whole scope of what's happening. I know that at the beginning I said I was going to do quick posts, aiming at writing for no more than half an hour, but I have to admit I've failed miserably at this goal. Every post takes me upward of one hour, between convincing myself to actually start, warming up, writing, and a quick grammar pass.

Thankfully, I've been able to keep myself from doing full restructures, which saves some time! And that's for posts where I'm not also including some previous time for researching what it is I want to write about, like when I wrote about bone pointing or how fruits ripen. To be honest, I enjoyed these "research-y posts" a lot; they're a blast to write, and doing so also helps cement my thoughts and learning.

...

I was reflecting on all of this recently, specifically on things that changed in my life since I started this project, and I realized that there are three areas that perhaps are all working in synchrony to sustain this practice.

The first thing is that I started doing a LOT more exercise. I used to be a couch potato 24/7, except for the little physical activity I got while playing with my kids or playing catch with my dog. It was so bad that my watch would sometimes congratulate me in the evening with "great! you walked 700 steps today, that's 20% more than your best last week". It's not that I don't like to exercise (well, I don't really, but that's beside the point); it's more that I didn't have time.

But then something happened: I got a foldable treadmill that goes under my desk. That means that now I can work and walk at the same time! It's not great exercise, but ever since I got it, four or so weeks ago, I've been consistently doing over 10k steps a day. This week I'm starting to push for 20k a day, which is a lot harder! I know walking is not the same as cardio or "proper exercise", but going from an entirely sedentary lifestyle to one in which I at least move a bit has done wonders.

The other thing that happened1 pretty much at the same time is that I greatly reduced my intake of caffeine. These days, I'm limiting myself to maybe half a cup of coffee OR a cup of green tea for the whole day. I still love the taste of coffee too much, so I also drink a big pot of decaf coffee. It's not as tasty, but it's an excellent alternative and does a lot to satisfy my "hunger".

(I also discovered that coffee, including decaf, is an excellent source of antioxidants!)

The third thing is writing itself. I can't pinpoint exactly what it does to my mind, but lately I've felt much more coherent in my own thinking as well as when talking to others (though sometimes I still feel like a bumpkin). Some time ago, I mentioned I felt my mind was slipping, becoming muddy. That feeling is all but gone now.

Writing also gives me a sort of self-esteem boost for some reason. It's not because people are reading these (I'm actually not sure if anyone is consistently reading these posts); it's more because after writing a post that I like, I get that feeling of "wow, I wrote that!". Not that my posts are always great, but every once in a while I'm proud of what I'm able to do. It's like telling my inner critic to shut up. "See, I told you I can do it".

All three of these work in tandem, I think, sustaining each other. The exercise gives me energy, so I don't find myself yearning for that caffeine boost. The lack of caffeine makes me less anxious and my mind less cloudy, which makes me a better writer. Writing motivates me to keep going and observe and learn, which motivates me to exercise.

An excellent side effect (that my wife also keeps remarking on) is how much my mood has improved. And yes, I'm in a really good place right now, mental-wise. I'm sure that exercise helps here, as does not poisoning myself with caffeine2, as does writing. My improved mood also has me reaching less and less for quick snacks, alcohol, and weed. I still indulge every once in a while, but it's more a "treat" than a habit. (Though my wife today brought home a large box of rice crispy treats, which are my favorite! I might overindulge a bit :P )

Footnotes

  1. I'm starting to appreciate how neat it is to have daily posts! I can now easily go back to any day and see what I was thinking or doing. ↩

  2. I investigated this a bit, and it seems there are many people for whom caffeine is just terrible. We get a very pleasant boost, but then we pay the price. At the same time, there are some people who don't have any negative effects at all. It's important to know your body and accept that perhaps what's good for others is not good for you. ↩