My egg is better than yours and how all the things came to be
Long, long ago, before all the things, the two gods, the Red One and the Blue One met for breakfast. They sat down at a long wooden table, facing each other, and chatted amiably. “Ah, here comes the food!” exclaimed the Blue One, wringing his hands.
A pair of servants entered, wearing richly tailored white vests with long tails and golden trimming. Each carried a plate covered with a cloche. Their stately walk took them behind one of the gods, and in unison they set the plates down and, with a flourish, removed the cloches.
“An egg!” said the Red One in delight.
They both stared at their eggs for a while—perfectly made, round, and tender, filling the room with a buttery aroma. Then they looked at each other’s eggs.
“At least I didn’t get yours,” said the Blue One. “It’s much smaller and wrinkled compared to mine.”
The Red One, who had been so pleased with his egg, now began to see defects in it and retorted, “Well, at least mine smells better.”
“Ha, it smells like horse! It’s actually making it hard for me to want to eat mine.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” said the Red One, rising.
“I am,” said the Blue One.
“You’re the liar! Your egg is small and smells like fish!” said the Red One.
They both looked down and saw that the Red One’s plate was now a couple of spans larger.
“Oh yeah?” said the Blue One, and both his side of the table and his plate enlarged by a couple of feet.
As you can probably imagine, given that they were gods, they soon found themselves arguing over whose plate was larger and quickly ended up out of the room, their breakfast forgotten.
But it didn’t stop there; they continued their argument endlessly, their omnipresence allowing them to keep track of how much the other had done
And so it was that the whole cosmos was filled with all the things.
Now, the eggs, finding themselves at the center of such expansion, had slowly been pushed closer together.
A black cat, a ratter, had been watching all this with detached amusement, as cats are wont to do.
Eventually, as things settled, the cat jumped on the table and gulped down both eggs, savoring every bite. They were indeed both delicious. The cat was no connoisseur or great critic of egg gastronomy, but he deemed them both masterpieces.
His belly now full, he curled up on the mantelpiece and went to sleep, dreaming peaceful cat dreams.