Last week, my oldest son (3y/o) and I discovered that we both enjoy playing football passes (football soccer that is). We just stand at opposite sides of the living room and I gently kick the ball towards him, and he then not-so-gently kicks it back my way.

It's also light exercise so it's good for mood and in general for getting the blood flowing! Good stuff. It also requires very little effort on my side AND I can do it while holding my youngest in my arms. Only wins here. The only problem is that I'm terrible at kicking the ball and it often ends up going in unintended directions. My son once even told me "dad why are you so bad!" 😂 well, I am bad.

I was one of those kids that never played football during recess. The contact bothered me, but really the main thing that threw me off was that I didn't really understand how the whole thing worked when I was in the midst of it. Like, how do you know who to pass the ball to? Whenever I had the ball I would usually panic and just kick it anywhere, as long as it was away from me. I spent most of the game just avoiding the ball in the first place, but somehow it often made it's way towards me.

Add the fact that I was always the last one to be picked for teams during PE and of course you end up with my current aversion to playing football.

It's funny though because I was actually quite good at other team sports. During high-school I was in both the basketball and baseball teams, and I remember feeling quite good about my skill level¹. But more than anything, I felt like a valued part of the team.

There's also the fact that I've never been any good with my feet. My upper body coordination is quite good though. I juggle (balls and clubs) and in general enjoy skill games. But my feet... I either missed the chance when they were handing out lower body coordination or (more likely) I just needed some more time than the other kids and didn't manage to keep up with the skill curve of those around me.

So I'm glad that I actually get this second chance to practice with my son. My answer to his question yesterday, about why I'm so bad, was that we're going to have to learn together, and he seems to have taken it to heart. Sometimes he even gives me tips about how to kick!

In a recent now update I discussed how I was struggling to related to my son in a positive way. This is a step in a good direction I think.

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As I was writing the above it occurred to me how often this happens to us. How often we're stuck being bad at something because we won't let ourselves improve.

Like, I might feel I'm bad at writing so I don't write, but I want to. Or maybe for you it can be the same but with drawing. Or running. Or playing a musical instrument. Or I've lately also read some people are terrified about publishing their code online for fear of being judged.

We often feel "it's too late for me to learn". But that's not true. If I can learn to do proper passes then you can learn anything if you just get out of your own way. I know that I at least need to stop impeding my own growth.

~ 🌱

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Footnotes

1. If I'm allowed, I felt I was actually really good at baseball. The coach would often have me bat when all the bases were filled as I was a consistent home run. Yeah, I'm bragging. Sue me. At the same time, this sort of external validation helped me grow faster, and provided me the self-assurance to try new things. ↩